Order In The Family

The Order in The Family.

I remember that as a child and being the  older of four siblings I was the only one that carried chores in our home of all the four children. My brother was always spared from any kind of work in the house because he was a male and because he had been born premature and my mom was always kind a sorry for him; and the younger siblings were too young, they were born when I was already seven years old. So it happened that after I got home from school at five pm. the big pile of cloth diapers was always waiting for me altogether with the big pile of dishes that had accumulated during the day while I was in school. I remember that mother was always exhausted and even as a child I used to ask myself, how can mother be so exhausted when I'm doing half of her work everyday. Sometimes I hated her, she was so grumpy, never had any time for me except to tell me chores or to yell at me or even beat me, I was the loneliest little girl in the world. I missed my dad, but he was always working and when he got home  it was always late and many times  drunk. Because of all this things I decided at a very young age that someday I would have a home and things would be very different.

Forty years later God has blessed me with that home that as a child I always dreamed of, I have a good husband and two beautiful teenage girls that I love; but although my husband is a Christian man he still has some old fashion ideas that I strongly disapproved. He was raised in an abused environment also and soon after I married him I found out of all this chauvinist ideas that today after eighteen years of marriage we still "fight"over; and this are some of this believes that I instill and defend in my house.

I believe that in the family home each person should have their responsibilities not based on sex but according to personal respect,ethics, gifts and capabilities. I think that each member of the family should take care of their own "things", each one should be in charge of their own laundry, cleaning after themselves, each one should be responsible of the cleaning of his her own space (sleeping quarters) and that the whole family is responsible to keep the rest of the home in order; specially in a home where both parents have a job. I believe that the mother has the responsibility of teaching the children what their chores and responsibilities are as soon as they are capable of doing, they will know which this are and don't need to be told what to do. I strongly do not approve of parents that sit down to watch TV to yell orders to their children, thinks that they can do on their own just because " I'm the dad and you just do what I say". I do not believe this is the way of teaching our children respect. This is giving our children a lesson of selfishness and all it does is create rebellion in our children hearts.

I also believe that it is in the heart of a woman to nurture, the need of giving herself to others specially her family and that will instill in her the desire to regularly cook a nice meal for their family and watch that each member of the family's well being; but it must not be an obligation for a wife and mother to do this things and nevertheless be harassed by her husband or the older children if she doesn't, specially when the children are already older enough to tend for themselves. Husbands must understand and accept that God gave them the same capabilities that He gave to a woman and that it is a terrible sin to expect the wife to do for him the work that he can do for himself, and the children should understand that when they were babies mom took care of them but now that they are big and capable it is not mom's responsibility to tend for what now is their job to do.

I think that it is crucial to teach our children to respect and honor their parents, and most important to Love and Fear God, but I also believe that the rearing of our children must be in Love and Respect.